Mission Almost Accomplished

November 28, 2005 | Category: Reflections & Musings

So far today, I’ve managed to piss off a handful of people with my insensitivity. I’m assuming I’m only a few steps away from being really bitchy and mean. Call me rude, call me crude or whatever you want, but I really don’t fucking care anymore. Does it make me feel any better? No, it bloody doesn’t but I’m doing it anyway.

I seriously don’t give a rats as if any of you begin to hate me and stop visiting my blog because I have had it up to here. Oh yeah, I loath in self-pity…so fucking what. If anyone knew about being depressed or the feeling of rejection is only the one who’s experienced it themselves. So please, if you never been through it puh-lease I beg you with both my knees on the floor, don’t give me crap about what’s right or wrong, what’s the meaning of being loved or unloved and all other shit.

Fine, to those of you who think I’m an ungrateful bitch, so fucking what? Oh right, I need to suck up, smile and say,

Why Thank you for being there when I did my little dumbass fiasco. I was so stupid I nearly killed myself vomitting blood and what not. You all were SO THERE for me. Thank you thank you, I feel very loved.

*rolls eyes*

Please la, you all are fucking fakes. Don’t come telling me, “Take care girl, you’ll be alright” or “If you want to talk about it, I’ll be here for you”. Like what the fuck? If you wanna be nice, be fucking sincere about it and don’t bloody ignore me when I do want to talk. Don’t bloody give me false promises okay. Bloody fakes. I’ll be here for you my bloody ass. Selfish bastards. I hate all of you.

Don’t pretend to be my friend when you DON’T know me. Burning in hell right now sounds more inviting than knowing any of you or even associating with anyone. At least I can look forward to them orgy sessions.

For the record, yes I am having that thoughts again but no I am not going to do it. I maybe depressed but I’m not stupid.

Really up to every single one of you if you want to talk this personally because I really really don’t care.

I’m done being like this. I’m done being so low. I’m done feeling the way I’m feeling. I’m done getting crap from you. I’m done doing crap to myself. I’m done giving you crap.

I don’t need anymore shit from anyone.

I’m too exhausted to care anymore. I really do.

One Comments

  1. tired_man
    on November 29th, 2005
    1

    Guess everybody is pissed scared to comment. Then again maybe i am wrong and they are just being polite and giving u space. But its so sad. I know what its like, been there, gone thru it and attempted that, and survived. Its bloody tough. No one understands unless they are so unlucky to experience it. Only your own strength will see u thru this. No one else can make u happy. Be strong. I see moments of strength in your blogging. Have faith.

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