My Wish

November 27, 2005 | Category: Reflections & Musings

As much as I was feeling extremely melancholic (still am), I cannot help but realize that exactly a week from today will be my birthday. In the past year, there’s alot that happened in my life. I must say some were pretty good and some were pretty bad. Most of all, the journey of finding myself has really begun and so far it has been one rocky road. I’m sure alot of people can vouch for that. The emotionally roller coaster I’ve been through has been really nauseating. Unfortunately I am still on it and everything doesn’t seem to get any better.

I foresee that the worse is yet to come. God has always the worst things happen to me, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. All already feel enough of hurt inside yet He still doesn’t seem to do anything about it. It’s as if I’m doomed to hurt till the day I day. So it feels like it anyways. Therefore, I really feel like I don’t deserve anyone at all. I’m not worth it. I really am not. I’m not depending on Him entirely to do something but I’m already too tired to do what needs to be done.

There are so many things I would want to wish for on my birthday. One of them is the wish for me to BE with him without having him to have someone else on his mind. But whatever it is, I know He would not make that happen because it’s me. Nothing amazing will ever happen to me. So yeah, then I would decide on another wish.

That is…

For Him to let me go once and for all.

Let me be alone on my day of birth.

I doubt anyone remembers anyway.

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