My Sister’s Untimely Death

September 29, 2005 | Category: Reflections & Musings

Every day of my life, I asked myself, am I happy? I cannot seem to remember when I was happiest. Was I happy when I partied alot? Was I happy when my sister was still alive? Was I happy when I was with my ex-boyfriend? Was I happy when I travelled? Do I really deserve to live in this cruel world? One should always remember their happy memories. Not me. I only remember my sad ones. Why?

The one thing I remember crystal clear was when how we found out when my sister fell sick. I had just returned home from work one evening back in September 1998. Usually when I got home, mum and dad would be in the family room watching television, but not that day. The room was in semi darkness, the television was switched off. I called out for them, no one answered. Then I heard people mumbling in my parents room. I knocked on the door and waited. Dad came to the door, he looked sad and said, “You’re home? Come in, something has happened.”

My heart immediately fell, and the first thing that came into my mind was, is mum or dad sick? As I walked into the room, I saw mum weeping. When she saw me, she quickly stood up and hugged me so tight. I kept asking what’s wrong. Dad said to sit down on the bed.

“This evening we got a call from your brother-in-law. Your sister is in the hospital,” he said in a low toned voice.

“What? What happened? How is she? Why is she in the hospital?” I said in horror.

“We’re not sure. According to your bro-in-law, your sister just woken up from a nap when she started having this series of fits,” he continued almost choked in tears.

Mum was drenched in tears and said, “Please pray that it’s nothing serious, that everything will be okay.”

Dad continued, “I want you and your mum to take the first flight out tomorrow morning.”

Seeing mum in tears, I almost wept myself. Controlling my tears, I said to dad “Okay, I’ll call boss and let him know what’s going on.”

That night, the house was a dead as a haunted house. Everyone couldn’t eat, speak or did the things we used to do. It was total silence. I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned all night thinking of my sister.

The next day, we took the first flight out to where my sister was. As soon as we arrived, my brother took us to the hospital. In the car, my brother told us that my sister was transfered to ICU because the doctors were having difficulties reviving her properly. I closed my ears, I couldn’t listen another word of what my brother was telling us.

I prayed to God that day, I begged him to have my sister recover, because I loved her. We all loved her.

At the hospital, my bro-in-law was at the ICU entrance looking at her. When he saw us, the first thing he did was hug mum. I tried to look away, instead I leaned my head on my brothers shoulder. Mum said she wanted to go in and see my sister, I nodded.

In the ICU, I scanned the room, looking at all the machines that was connected to my sisters lifeless body. I immediately asked why there were so many machines around her, then one nurse explained to me as if she was speaking in a foreign language. I could see my mum from a short distant whispering something to my sister’s ear. Tears started flowing down my cheeks.

I slowly went towards where my sister was laying, they had on her tubes after tubes and a machine that helped her breath and what not. Doctors explained that she had alot of complications, from being diabetic to some other medical term I cannot recall. After much discussion, my mum wanted to fly my sister down to KK where there were better hospital facilities, but unfortunately due to her condition doctors were afraid that she’d have even worse complications on the plane.

Hours past but still her condition has not changed. Doctors and nurses were constantly checking on her, yet still there was no improvement whatsoever. They tried reviving her once during lunhtime but she continued having fits, hence they had to sedate her to an unconscious state. Meanwhile, too many people came to visit her that day, old friends, new friends, relatives and some even people I’ve never seen before. Never in my life have I prayed so many times for His mercy.

Towards the end of the day, doctors told us that she was in stable condition. They were with her since God knows how long so, they decided to go back to shower and said to return an hour later. Barely 30 minutes after they left, my sister’s condition suddenly deteriorated tremendously. I could see nurses and doctors rushing into the ICU. We all kept asking what had happened, all the nurses could tell us that there were new complications.

Then the worst nightmare descended upon our family, doctors tried reviving her for nearly 45 minutes but she was gone. I was at the ICU entrance with my brother in law when we saw the doctors giving us the look. As I fell on my knees, trying to absorb what I had just seen, I could hear my mother screaming from the distance. My aunts and uncles tried to hold her. My brother came running to where I was, I was on the floor already almost hyisterical. My brother in law cried as he held me. The sounds of the whole hospital weeping that evening.

Never would I have ever imagined that I would lose my one and only sister to Him. He loves her more. She belongs to Him, that’s what I’ve learned. We are all His children and one day we all will return to Him.

Today is the annivesary of her death.

I will remember her for who she always was. The vibrant and cheery sister who was always there for me no matter what. Everyone loved her. I am and will miss her everyday of my life. I will always love her. She will always and forever be my sister.

6 Comments

  1. frostier
    on September 29th, 2005
    1

    God loves her more.

  2. totoro
    on September 29th, 2005
    2

    Sorry to hear about your sister. You still have fond memories of her, right?

    If you wrote down the times when you felt happiest, then you will never forget them.

    Take care.

  3. bawangmerah
    on September 29th, 2005
    3

    *hugs* I’m sure she lives on in your memories :)

  4. Jeremy C
    on September 29th, 2005
    4

    You have my sympathies, Dee, but more importantly you have the memories of your sister forever etched in your heart…it is how she’ll live on, though she is no longer with you physically.

    Death is one of the constants in life, and no one can ever escape it. We can only pray and hope that she’ll be happier in the next world/life.

    I guess the important thing right now would be to focus our attention on those who are still with us, ie parents, friends because life is short and unpredictable, who knows who’ll be “leaving” next.

  5. Dee
    on September 29th, 2005
    5

    frostier: Thank you

    totoro: Yes, I do. Lots of them and I will. :)

    bawangmerah: She does. :)

    Jeremy: Thank you…you seem to always have the right words to say. What you said on your blog? Likewise :)

  6. centerpide
    on September 29th, 2005
    6

    words can’t really say how I’m feeling right now having read that entry…

    you’re a brave and strong person…and I admire you so much for that…

    hugs

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