Private Thoughts

August 24, 2005 | Category: Love & Relationships

Love Looms Over Her - Part 1

Tell me something. How much would it take for you to leave someone so very dear to you? Seriously.

He/she means the world to you, but somehow or rather, for some unforseen reason you come to a conclusion that it would be better you left. No matter how much it shatters you to pieces. What would you do?

I have this very close friend who has been in this undecided dilemma for awhile now. This is the situation. She’s known this friend of hers for abit now. I think they get along pretty well and all, although at times, she complains that they argue over petty things. However, very recently she told me that she has feelings for him despite them being friends and all. She knows very well that it won’t work (although deep down she hope it will). You see, their friendship/relationship is a very complicated one, so complicated I doubt anyone would want to even get involved in it. So it’s THAT complicated.

What do you tell a girl who’s so totally into this guy to do?

Many people have told her not to expect too much from this guy, because at the end of the day, it just won’t work and someone is bound to get hurt. And it did. Emotions flared and people ended up getting hurt. Much to this guy’s surprise, in fact he wasn’t even surprised, I was told. He already knew what was coming. Smarty pants.

She also found out one devastating news that got her into a deep rut, and that he likes another. Really people, what would you tell her? Forget him? Leave him? There are plenty of fish out there? The world is her oyster and the oysters are all ready to be handpicked by her? What?

I have completely ran out of things to console her. Everyday she tries her best to remain as controlled and as rational as possible. Until one day, she actually did something unexpected by everyone. Everything just went downhill from there. After weeks of trying to get her into her oldself, things finally (well almost) went back to normal.

Neverthless, she still insisted that she felt that their friendship/relationship soured. She said that when she confronted him, he said everything was back to normal. Or was it? Until today, she says that the feeling of insecurity and sadness looms over her every second of the day. I tell you, she’s one love sick puppy. Personally, I’ve never been so love sick like her. I asked her, “Why do you love him?” and all she responded was with a smile. OMFG, for as long as I’ve known her, I’ve never seen her like this.

Is this for real or is she in love with love?

God knows what has been on her mind lately. Although, she does often speak of leaving, “any where, away from all this hurt,” she says. “I want to leave everything, leave him but somehow I can’t because I promised.”

“Promise what?” I asked.

She just stared into the ceiling, and I could see tears swelling at the tip of her eyes.

“No matter how much I try to hope everything will work out, I somehow know deep down in my heart it won’t. He seems different now, I don’t know. My feelings tells me he is, but my heart tells me otherwise.”, she stammered.

I just stared at her. How do I even begin to comprehend her feelings? Should I just tell her bluntly to get a life? Or should I just show her a little more compassion by saying that the our Dear Lord will listen to her prayers if she only prayed? Even if she would not end up being with him, but she’s a stubborn one.

She continued,“I feel everything off him. I knew from the very beginning that something like this will bestow upon me, but I chose to ignore it. How stupid was I?!”

She was already crying by now, and all I could do was hug her and tell her that everthing was going to be okay.

“That’s why, I’ve contemplated leaving for good. But I’m too weak, I cannot leave. I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE HIM. He needs me,” she said in between sobs.

“Then don’t!” I replied.

“I must, because if I stayed it’ll hurt more and I don’t think I can bear another second or minute whenever he’s around,” she said, raising her voice slightly.

“Why oh why must you torture yourself this way?” I looked at her sadly.

“Because I cannot bear to see him torture himself that way,” she whispered.

Can you see the situation I’m in now, trying to help this close friend of mine?

I gotta stop here. The post is getting a little too long.

To be continued…

3 Comments

  1. frostier
    on August 24th, 2005
    1

    …only she knows what to do.

  2. Rambling Mind
    on August 24th, 2005
    2

    In the end, it’s all about choices.

    I’d like to say that no matter how dark it is today or how grey the world looks without his colour or how music now sounds like a screech, SHE WILL GET OVER HIM. I’m sorry, but no one is ever indispensible.

    Yes, it’ll take a lot of time and possibly a lot of hurt, but isn’t that what life is all about? Learn from her experiences and she’ll be a better person for it.

    RM

  3. Profound Sentiments of a Demented Soul » Blog Archive » True Confessions
    on August 25th, 2005
    3

    [...] Remember Love Looms Over Her? I was that close friend I was telling you about. I am so torned that I simply cannot think and live anymore. I struggle everyday trying not to think of the love I feel for him. So what do I do? Try to be a friend because it’s the closes thing I can get to him. No one. NO ONE, will ever understand how I feel or what I’ve been through. I lost my guard and I will never forgive myself for it. The only way now is to live every single day as it comes, no matter how difficult it may be. [...]

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